twistedviper:

whorusszahhak:

perfectionistdia:

whorusszahhak:

don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish

But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you.

thatS REALLY CUTE IM GONNA CRY

(Source: fefarielle, via fighting-fading)

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

(via exp-loit)

castielhasthephoneb0x:

i can nt breath this old man who has like the biggest onion ever is so pr ou d of it 

LOOK HOW HAPPY HIS ONION MAKES HIM

(Source: teambeentohell, via captaintuneup)

akanedee:

if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence

(via fighting-fading)

teadancemacabre:

i like how in america you have rows and rows of

because in england we have rows and rows of

i think the look we were going for was “crushing depression” complimented by “there is no hope” with just a hint of “you’re going to stare at the same mouldy boxes until you die in one of them so i hope you like brick”

(via captaintuneup)